In my mid-20s, I made a decision that might have puzzled my Finnish grandparents: I departed Canada for Finland. My grandparents, on the contrary, had left post-war Finland for Canada 70 years earlier in search of better economic prospects. They settled in Montreal, starting a new life and raising a family of nine children there.
Having grown up in Montreal, I often heard my grandmother’s stories about Finland, narrated with translations by my mom or aunts when she switched to Finnish mid-sentence. To me, Finland seemed like a distant and almost mythical place. In 2017, my sister Liisa and I embarked on what we dubbed our “heritage tour” to Finland, coinciding with the country’s 100th year of independence and the Juhannus celebration, a significant Finnish midsummer holiday.
During our trip, we met relatives for the first time, explored our grandmother’s hometown, and connected her tales to real locations such as the farm she grew up on, the nearby lake, and the path she took to school. Although our grandparents had passed away, we felt that they would have been pleased that we journeyed to their homeland and experienced the enchantment of midsummer.
A year later, while living in Toronto but desiring a change, I made the bold choice to relocate to Finland to immerse myself in living in a new country while delving into my roots. Securing a residence permit and a job, I initially planned to stay for a minimum of a year. Fast forward seven years to my current age of 33, and I find myself still here, with my perception of home forever altered.
Previously, I had always considered Montreal as my sole true home, the place to which I would eventually return, where my “real life” awaited me. In the initial months after my move, I questioned everything, pondering the consequences of my decision. However, over time, Helsinki gradually transformed into another place I call home. I’ve witnessed the evolution of the city and its inhabitants, with friends changing residences, careers, completing PhDs, and starting families. I’ve observed the closure of cafes and the opening of new wine bars, launched a business, tied the knot, and welcomed a furry companion into my life.
Both cities resonate with me in distinct ways. Walking through Montreal’s Notre-Dame-de-Grâce neighborhood feels akin to slipping into a cozy, well-loved sweatshirt. Conversely, exploring Helsinki initially felt like donning a new outfit that boosted my confidence. The anonymity in Helsinki provided a sense of freedom, allowing me to embrace new experiences, say yes more often, and embark on a journey of self-discovery.
Despite the advantages of anonymity, the sense of “newness” in Helsinki comes with its challenges, akin to those faced by many immigrants. As a non-Finnish speaker, I often encounter reminders that I am not a native, whether through missed cultural references or linguistic struggles. However, my journey to adapt and integrate into Finnish society continues, marked by a mix of successes and setbacks.
Growing up in Montreal, an incredibly diverse city, I never fully grasped the complexities of integration until becoming an immigrant myself. Recognizing my privilege as a white woman with Finnish heritage, I acknowledge that my challenges pale in comparison to those faced by newcomers encountering racism and greater barriers to acceptance.
Living in Helsinki for nearly a decade has reshaped my concept of home and belonging. While Montreal will forever hold a special place in my heart as my birthplace and where my loved ones reside, Helsinki has also become a cherished home where I have grown more independent and self-assured. Reflecting on my immigrant experience, I draw parallels to my grandparents’ journey, fostering a deeper appreciation for their resilience and a heightened empathy for those forging new lives in foreign lands.
Originally drawn to Finland to delve into my roots, I inadvertently cultivated new connections and attachments. Embracing my hybrid identity, straddling two worlds, has its complexities and rewards, enriching my perspective on the meaning of home and the beauty of embracing multiple places as part of my identity.